With World Suicide Prevention Day September 10, 2015 Sharyn Smart talks with the Kubin family about their efforts to save vulnerable lives.
The Kubin household in Morristown, New Jersey, USA is bursting full of generosity, caring for others and a huge hive of industry.
Three years ago Emily created Emily’s Hats for Hope Initiative. At 17 years old she wanted to help the homeless and started making hats, scarves and afghans. Her first donation was a total of eight hats. After only three and a half years she has now donated over 18,000 hats around the world and also has over 40 global spinoffs of her original initiative.
Not to be left out younger sister Julia started her own campaign called Sidewalk Smiles Campaign when she was just 13 years old. Watching her sister create a global initiative she saw it was possible at a young age and wanted to make a difference in the world too.
Julia focused on preventing bullying, self-harm and teen suicide. She started her campaign by holding a big colourful sign up in the middle of her town that said “You are Beautiful.”
“I wanted people to know that no matter what negative things people had tried to make them believe about themselves, they are beautiful and they make the world a better place and their life matters.”
After helping her older daughter with her hat organisation Jill Kubin realised that people who knit and crochet tend to be kind-hearted people. She wanted to create a random act of kindness movement to raise awareness for suicide, bullying and other mental health issues.
She celebrated World Suicide Prevention Day 2015 surrounded by hundreds of knitted hearts with positive messages attached that are finding their way all around the world.
Wanting to raise the awareness for suicide, bullying and other mental health issues Jill went about creating a random act of kindness movement with the potential to spread worldwide.
“I thought that having them make hearts would not only be an easy and quick project for them but it would also be one that they would embrace. So many people have been impacted by suicide and by mental health issues either through their close circle of friends or their family.
People seem to really identify with the mission that the Peyton Heart Project has and that is what is making this project resonate with people around the world.”
The person behind the project’s name is a young teenager named Peyton James. On October 8, 2014 he attempted to take his own life and five days later he was dead.
His father David James tells Peyton’s story:-
“On October 8, 2014, my 13 year old son, Peyton James, came home from school and attempted to take his own life. Five days later on the 13th, he succumbed to his injuries and was declared brain dead.
“My world changed forever that day. The pain that a parent goes through when they lose a child is indescribable. Knowing how I felt that day, and every day since then, I have made a promise to myself that I would do whatever was in my power to keep another parent from experiencing the pain I live with daily.
“Peyton was bullied for most of his days in school. His red hair, freckles, small build and quirky personality made him an easy target. All he ever wanted was to be accepted for who he was, but instead, he was pushed, shoved, called names and harassed. When he was 12, he was also diagnosed with depression.
“When all of the bullying and depression became too much for him, he chose to take his own life rather than live with the pain.”
Even though Peyton lived with his mother David saw him regularly and describes him as your typical teenager.
“Peyton was usually in a good mood when I saw him. He was enthusiastic about science-fiction, Dr Who and technology. He would talk your ear off about any of them. He loved animals, especially our corgi puppy Earl and loved it when Earl would go places with us in the car. He would also beg me to let Earl sleep with him at night.
“He was generally an amiable kid. When he was sad he would get very moody, not want to do much and generally lose himself in video games or his computer.”
David strongly believes that “keeping silent is not a good idea” and “if we don’t mention it, it doesn’t exist” are both outdated.
“Unfortunately, it is a problem that many communities and school districts choose to turn a blind eye to. I live and teach in an upper middle class area in Texas where people choose to ignore problems or think of them happening “somewhere else”.
“Talking about suicide openly, does not put the idea into a person’s mind. If anything it actually opens the lines of communication and tells them that it is okay to talk about it. I am astounded that people still see it as a way for that person to get attention. Peyton hung himself and if someone were to copy they too would be dead thus they would not be around to get attention. Approximately 90% of people that take their own life suffer from some form of mental illness.”
Reading his story had a huge impact on Jill and she originally contacted Peyton’s parents about creating a hat drive to raise bullying awareness for Emily’s Hats for Hope initiative. Now she contacted them again.
“I asked them if I could name my project after Peyton because I wanted my heart project to have a story that connected to the core mission of my project. Peyton’s story is heart-breaking and although I never had the privilege of knowing him, I wanted my project to honour his memory.”
David continues the story:-
“I agreed and became involved. The idea is simple but elegant. People find the heart, look up the hashtag and see the message behind them. They also get to see our message which is to bring awareness to bullying, suicide and mental illness.”
“I talk openly about Peyton, even if others might find it uncomfortable. I am keeping him alive in my memory as well as trying to help others by relating to his story. On the back of my right calf I have a tattoo that says “Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts”. It is from Slaughter House Five by Kurt Vonnegut. To me it means when I hit a trigger I go to a positive place to try and even out.”
For David a trigger can be as simple as a song or a smell, to seeing a red headed boy. Through therapy he has learnt coping mechanisms to help him through the days. Everybody deals with things in different ways and finding the correct path for you is very important.
“You never know what is going on in a person’s head. You don’t know their trials and tribulations. You also never know what will be their breaking point. If need be, think whatever you want in your head but for the love of all that is holy, keep quiet! Say nothing, text nothing, post nothing negative. Words can hit harder than a fist!”
David implores parents, family members, caregivers, friends, teachers, co-workers “if you are experiencing problems don’t be afraid to reach out”.
“I see kids all the time suffer in silence because they think they are the only ones that feel that way. They think others will look at them differently or treat them poorly if they say anything. That shouldn’t be the case. There are good people out there that care. Keep reaching out until you find one. Know that you are not alone, despite thinking you are.
“To all parents – don’t let your child be a victim. If you suspect your child is being bullied at school, confront the school. DO NOT let the school protect the bully or tell you that it is just a phase. If you are not satisfied with the response of the school, go over their heads. This is your child – PROTECT THEM!”
A friend sent David this quote:-
“Every Person You Meet is Fighting A Battle You Know Nothing About – Be Kind ALWAYS!” (author unknown)
To contact the Peyton Heart Project:
https://www.facebook.com/ThePeytonHeartProject
https://instagram.com/sidewalksmilescampaign/
https://twitter.com/PeytonHeart13
email: youaretrulybeautiful@yahoo.com